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Res Life is Coming! Res Life is Coming!

As a heterosexual white male from a stable financial background I rarely have anything to get worked up about. I’m not saying this to boast or to devalue others; I’m saying it because it’s the truth. My dude Lil Dicky hilariously sums up my existence in his rap song “White Dude,”: With that said, I have recently been the subject of cruel and unusual punishment. … Continue reading Res Life is Coming! Res Life is Coming!

65 Things I Don’t Pay $65,000 a Year For

At an elite university such as Boston College, students expect the most bang for their buck, and they’re not afraid to remind you of that fact. Here is a comprehensive list of 65 things that should be better financed by the astronomical price of an education at this school. I don’t pay $65,000… for the Plex. to wait in line for 30 minutes for a … Continue reading 65 Things I Don’t Pay $65,000 a Year For

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URGENT: 8-MAN DUE DATE TODAY

**REQUIRED READING FOR ALL FRESHMEN** This is an open letter to the residents of the glorious campuses of Upper and Newton. The word glorious is used loosely for Newton campus. I would like to first of all welcome you to the territory of Chestnut Trill, as well as give you a virtual tranquilizer and urge you to momentarily calm the heck down. You are just … Continue reading URGENT: 8-MAN DUE DATE TODAY