Review: Table for Six

Mac. The name is notorious for being synonymous with miserable food; where dreams of fine dining and fulfilling meals go to die. While dissecting my fifth grilled chicken sandwich of the week I could not help but long for something better than what I was currently eating, but the usual suspects (Eagles Deli, Dominos, New Hong Kong) didn’t seem as appetizing as they once were. … Continue reading Review: Table for Six

Gio, the King of Walsh

The man. The myth. The legend. The Gio. If you’ve ever had the pleasure of visiting Walsh Hall, then you know the exact man I’m talking about. This man is the Maria of the Walsh Security Guard staff. The calm, cool, collected, Gio. I’m not going to bullshit you, no one likes getting cockblocked by Walsh security. You’re trying to bring a lady friend back … Continue reading Gio, the King of Walsh

Halloweekend Recap

Halloween weekend has come and gone, leaving wreckage in its wake like a goddamn hurricane. The scene at breakfast in Lower/Mac today is what I imagine the apocalypse to look like: disheveled hair, mismatched clothes, looks of sorrow and confusion for as far as the eye can see. The body language signals a common message: don’t talk to me until I’ve had my coffee. You … Continue reading Halloweekend Recap

The Segway Board Boasts BC Bestseller

Our campus has recently seen an influx of the mysterious skateboard-like Segway called the IO Hawk, most notably in the hands of our football players but not limited to them exclusively. Imagine what grandparents must think of us able bodied youth using these devilish devices. I can hear my own “If we aren’t careful, the robots are going to control us one day”; all right … Continue reading The Segway Board Boasts BC Bestseller

250 Word Review: Halloweentown

Tonight my hallmates in Welch 3 and I continued a tradition like no other: the annual screening of Halloweentown. Campus is buzzing with the rapid approach of the upcoming Halloweekend and we thought of no better way to celebrate than by watching this classic. Synopsis: A teenage girl learns she’s a witch and seamlessly makes the transition into the wizard world before helping her mother … Continue reading 250 Word Review: Halloweentown

College is a Time to Experiment.

You know that awkward interval of time between your classes that you originally scheduled with the intent of doing all your homework? Well if there are two things we have learned as second-year college students, it’s that (1) time management is a myth and (2) that time in between your classes is best used experimenting with BC Dining options or launching a new humor blog with your … Continue reading College is a Time to Experiment.

500 Word Review: The Plex

Ah, the William P. Flynn Recreational Complex. What a beauty to marvel at. Whatever drugs the architect of this building was on, I’d love to try some; the weird pyramid-structure roof makes it seem like he designed it in the dark. The best part is that there must have been dozens of design options to choose from and the higher-ups at BC selected the one … Continue reading 500 Word Review: The Plex

500 Word Review: Forrest Gump (1994)

Despite being hindered by congenital scoliosis and a below average brain, a young man from Alabama leads the most exceptional life this side of Bruce Wayne. The highlights: Jenny: The term friend zone is nowhere close to applicable. More like friend trench. Never has anyone been ‘curved’ (like the kids say) as hard as Forrest was in this scene. Forrest: “I love you” Thot: “You … Continue reading 500 Word Review: Forrest Gump (1994)

250 Word Review: Boys Wearing Headphones

The year is 2015. Technology is integrated into almost every aspect of our daily lives. People keep a phone in hand almost everywhere they go, but WHY do people – mostly males – stay strapped with a pair of headphones around their neck everywhere they go. I walked into the Lower dining hall yesterday (its proper name is Corcoran commons, pour one out for the dude named … Continue reading 250 Word Review: Boys Wearing Headphones

500 Word Review: Moses and the Book of Exodus

Summary: Pharaoh’s adopted brother Moses discovers that he’s been appointed by God to lead an entire group of his chosen people from Egypt back to the Promised Land, unleashing ten plagues and parting an entire body of water in two along the way. Highlights include: Moses legitimately turning the sun off. For three days. Exodus 10:22: “And Moses stretched forth his hand toward heaven; and … Continue reading 500 Word Review: Moses and the Book of Exodus

250 Word Review: Maria from Eagle’s Nest

1993 Michael Jordan. 2000 Tiger. ’07 Brady. All three are legends in the prime of their careers, and Maria from Eagle’s Nest is no different at this moment in her sandwich-making life. Whether it’s my personal favorite Tuscan chicken or the spicy steak, Maria consistently steps up to the plate and hits 500-foot dingers out of the park day-in and day-out. You could wait on … Continue reading 250 Word Review: Maria from Eagle’s Nest

250 Word Movie Review: Reservoir Dogs (1992)

5 Strangers and a Diamond Heist. Oh and blood. SO much blood. Highlights Include: The Opening Scene Steve Buscemi in his prime, proves to everyone that tipping is a crazy practice. The whole scene takes about 4 minutes, and the dialogue is hysterical. Not only because Buscemi argues over 1 dollar, but because you’d be lying if you said he didn’t make valid points that … Continue reading 250 Word Movie Review: Reservoir Dogs (1992)

250 Word Movie Review: Willy Wonka (1971)

A poor kid wins a candy factory in a contest hosted by a recluse chocolatier. Highlights include: Oompa Loompas. Seriously, what is an oompa loompa? An entire race of orange midgets with green hair casually being enslaved by one man, Willy Wonka. The sole proprietor of a people is a man in Prince’s purple velvet suit who secretly snuck them into his factory solely for … Continue reading 250 Word Movie Review: Willy Wonka (1971)