Imagining BC In 100 Years

A century ago, BC did not in anyway resemble the university we know today. Our beloved Gasson was only two years old and students couldn’t #gassongram it because Instagram was still 95 years away. If you thought no FIFA nights with the guys would suck, just imagine going to school without girls – BC didn’t become fully co-ed until ’74. With these telling details in mind, we dared to imagine Boston College 100 years from today in the year 2115.

In 2115, any freshman would scoff at the idea of living more than a 5-minute walk from class. Newton campus and Keyes Basement are forever enshrined in Boston College lore, but BC has finally gotten the housing situation right and Coro and Upper satisfy all the housing needs of a much larger freshman class. The entirety of Newton campus is nothing but greenhouses that grow grass to ensure there is never a short supply of grass on the main campus. The Newton Shuttle still exists to ferry the grass over, and new students must be weary of getting on the wrong shuttle.
Newton campus in 100 years:
grass farm

And the dreaded walk from lower to upper? The million-dollar escalator alleviates traffic in the Hillside elevators and there are no more jokes on Yik Yak about skipping leg day because of all the stairs on campus. ☹ The new Hoverboard 22.0 with biofuel-powered engines takes students from Point A to Point B, and heated roads and sidewalks ensure that there are never any problems getting to class in very mild winters (the last Boston College snowday of 2056 is only a distant memory on a campus that is finally equipped to deal with heavy snow). Because of the hoverboards, there are several midair collisions between students trying to get to Eagles for lunch during weekdays at approximately 11:50, and multiple collisions caused by the doorwindow finally merit its removal. BCPD receives nightly reports of students flying under the influence coming back from MA’s on the weekends.

gif hoverboard

Climate change has all but eliminated the winter and the only snow heard about comes by the key, which is fitting since the northeast will be the new tropics and Boston will be the new Miami. The reservoir is no longer synonymous with running, but with beaches, as hundreds of students in bathing suits flock daily to Boston’s exclusive manmade beaches. The reservoir is like summer camp on a lake all. year. long. Juniors and seniors who are permitted to pay astronomical prices to park their flying cars on campus are highly coveted friends, because a trip to the beaches on Cape over what was formerly known as Columbus Day weekend is just 20 minutes away (political correctness has eliminated Christopher Columbus from history textbooks by this point).

BC dining, unfortunately, has not given up on its current Ponzi scheme that makes students pay $5000 for sub-par food they have yet to eat…because it is simply too profitable. There are, however, noticeable changes. Like the statue of Doug Flutie on Lower, a bronze statue of Maria sits in the brand new Eagles Nest to commemorate her 30 years of service. Mike at Mac plays music from the 2070’s and 2080’s instead of the 1970’s and 1980’s, and everyone still wonders why Eagles doesn’t make the Baja Chicken anymore. Bring it bAck!!!!!!!

The Plex, of course, has not changed.

Walking into the plex in 2115 like:

imgres-1

Hopefully soon one BC student will travel back in time and grace us with anything remotely as incredible as the first ever performance of Johnny B. Goode like this:

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