Why Intramural Sports Matter

It’s freshman year, you’re coming off of a “dope” senior year and your class got “soooooo close”, and Jimmy’s mom totally let everyone drink at his grad party. What a time to be alive!  Needless to say you’re riding high.

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As the first couple of days pass you meet tons of people! As these interactions continue you start to wonder, “Am I meeting the same person over and over again?”  After a while the salmon shorts and vineyard vines polos start to blend together. Every guys’ name is Matthew, Mark, Luke, or John and every girl is from Edina, Minnesota, it’s understandable.

Your initial reaction to meeting new people of “oh wow you were an above average high school athlete, did service, AND got good grades?! You like to go out on the weekends, but also take your school work seriously? Where do I sign up to be best pals with this kid?!”  Has now soured to “check, check, check, oh you were in band? That’s kinda weird…”

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Everyone at BC is more or less the same person, and that person is the son that your Dad always wanted you to be.

How does one distinguish oneself at a university like Boston College?

Getting better grades than other people like you did in high school?

Ya okay guy

Out volunteer people?

One of the major flaws of service is that it is not a competition, I totally still do it though

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Hustling harder than your classmates in pursuit of a mug?

YUUUUUP.  Combine the remnants of your athletic ability from high school, all your fears of being inadequate, and all the heart you have, mix it all together and what do you get?  Maybe enough to win your weekly floor hockey game.

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Close your eyes, you’re back in your high school’s locker room, you’re sitting in a chair outside your locker with your eyes closed envisioning scoring the winning touchdown against your big rival. The game ends, the fans storm the field, you’re a hero. You get a key to the city, your full time job is now kissing babies, hell Dad even said he loved you for the first time ever! You open your eyes more prepared than ever for your Tuesday night intramural flag football game.

Intramurals are the one time you maybe have a chance to establish your dominance over your classmates. Throw a bow, spit on someone, intramurals are the one place where it’s okay to let that aggression out. If you talk trash in Bio, race someone to a seat in Devlin 008 then you’re kinda just a hardo. Between the lines, however, you have an excuse (still not really). That’s all you need to hear, someone has to push the envelope right? If you don’t have to give the BC look away to people you played in intramural sports you’re probably not hustling hard enough.

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If you happen to be your team’s leader in interceptions you are gonna wanna talk about it (sorry ladies) because it’ll probably be the entire basis of your self-confidence. Get a mug and no one can ever take that away from you. Remember that time your fifth grade teacher told you to pick a more realistic job than professional football player for your essay about your future career? Ya well who’s laughing now Mrs. Grady?! And wow would you look at that, you just established your dominance over teachers there too, without even trying. Get a mug and you become immortal.

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Now all you need to do is strategically use that mug at pregames and BOOM! You’re the king of campus. That girl who curved your drunken 3 a.m. snapchat? Suddenly she’s texting you first “hey” with two Ys!! TWO!!! Soon you probably won’t even need to periodically put on that Spotify playlist titled “;)” for people to think you’re getting laid. It could be real this time!! Professors now nervously ask you if the due date they set for that paper works for you. No line in eagles is uncuttable. All the varsity athletes start wearing backpacks that look just like that Northface you’ve had since sophomore year of high school. You actually got a ticket to the Notre Dame game. Father Leahy is even asking you what type of grass you think he should have installed this spring. (Kentucky bluegrass, next question) “Is the good life better than the life I live?”-Kanye”-you, probably. And the answer is no, definitely no.

TameSkeletalAmericanquarterhorse

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