Tips for Guys

*Editor’s note*: I had no hand in this blog. The women of Chestnut Trill wrote the following:

Boys. Can’t live with ‘em, can’t live without ‘em.  Regardless, we love living in close proximity to you guys at school.  There’s no one way to get girls, but here are a few tips (you decide whether or not they are satirical) on how to step up your game.

“Nobody’s perfect.  I’ve gotta work it.  Again and again ‘til I get it right.” -Hannah Montana

We don’t expect perfection.  That being said, the following tips *may* steer you in the right direction. PSA: this is a collaborative piece from your fav Chestnut Trill females (i.e. all of them). peace n luv, and may the odds be ever in your favor. 

DO’S

  • Smell nice. If you can ball out and get some cologne, do it. If not, Old Spice Fiji will do the job.
  • Just ask me to go on a walk around the res at sunset, see what happens.

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  • Take me to Barcelona (the tapas restaurant or the city, but mostly the restaurant) and get me drunk on Sangria. Barcelona = automatic win.
  • Respond to my texts.

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  • Approach me, even if you don’t have a wingman.
  • Wear glasses. Boys without glasses: get flasses (fake glasses). 20/20 vision is commendable, but we appreciate a cute pair of specs.
  • Step aside to hold the door open instead of holding it after walking through the door. Makes my day.

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  • Wear BC polos on game day.  Basically dress like a dad.  Bring your daughter to the game.  Connect with me on LinkedIn.  

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  • Strong hugs. Chances are if we’re hugging, we’re on good enough terms to forget the awkward side hugs.  
  • Be the big spoon. ‘Nough said.
  • Grab my face when you kiss me.
  • Talk dirty to me.  Tell me about your dirty Walsh bathroom you keep forgetting to clean.  Show me your unwashed laundry.  Points for creativity.
  • Be genuine. The more comfortable you are in being uninhibitedly yourself, the more comfortable you make me feel. It’s cute.
  • BE CONFIDENT. Justin Bieber didn’t write a song about it for nothing, boys. Confidence (not cockiness…*see Don’t #1*) is a huge turn on.
  • We think community service is hot…  @JuliusCeasar
  • Mix it up. Girls love spontaneity.  Important note: girls aren’t fans of when you spontaneously cancel plans with us though!!!
  • Wear clubmasters.
  • Tame your hair a little bit.

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  • Compliment girls. Tell us if we look pretty, even if we’re just your friend. Or just an acquaintance!  It will make our day. We will not automatically assume you want to wife us up.
  • Play pickup basketball in the Plex.  Real into that.
  • Be mysterious.  But also tell me what’s on your mind.  Don’t show me all your cards, but at the same time be transparent af so I know you’re not sneaky. You’ll figure it out.
  • Don’t focus on being romantic so much as being thoughtful.  Girls appreciate when you remember the little things about them, or when you go out of your way to do something sweet.

DON’T

  • Be cocky. I don’t care if you had the most interceptions in the intramural flag football league, so don’t boast to me about it. That’s what your guy friends are for.

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  • Be a douche. Or wear tanks to the plex every day. Basically synonymous.  
  • Forget she’s a girl. If you’re hanging with your guys and she’s around, just keep in mind that some comments still cross the line in the presence of a ~classy lady~.
  • Don’t fart in front of me.
  • Call our leggings yoga pants. There’s a difference.  Yeah, we already know you’re not looking below our asses, but try not to make it that obvious.
  • Take yourself too seriously.  
  • Feel like you need alcohol to have a good time/talk to us.  Getting drunk out of your mind is not a good idea if you’re trying to impress us.  
  • Punch our arms playfully, unless you want to fall right into the miserable abyss called the friend-zone.
  • Talk about past hookups.  We get it.  But if you want a chance with us, leave it out.  

Check out tips for girls here

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