65 Things I Don’t Pay $65,000 a Year For

At an elite university such as Boston College, students expect the most bang for their buck, and they’re not afraid to remind you of that fact. Here is a comprehensive list of 65 things that should be better financed by the astronomical price of an education at this school.

I don’t pay $65,000…

  1. for the Plex.
  2. to wait in line for 30 minutes for a Tuscan Chicken and not even get Maria.
  3. to get rejected from service clubs.
  4. to get rejected from mod parties.
  5. to get rejected from Kairos.
  6. for Carney.
  7. for Newton.
  8. for CoRo.
  9. for Greycliff.
  10. to have Transloc awaiting a prediction…
  11. for Turkey and Swiss on Multigrain.
  12. to get stuck in a Walsh elevator.
  13. to get the cold shoulder from Dolores in the Rat.
  14. for single ply toilet paper.
  15. to be single.
  16. to have Kerry Cronin remind me of how single I am.
  17. to be the ugly friend.
  18. to not be able to speak the same language as my calc TA.
  19. for HerCampus.
  20. for Eduroam.
  21. for cold mozz sticks.
  22. for grounds in my shitty fair trade coffee.
  23. to listen to Mike @ Mac’s music playlist during breakfast, lunch, and dinner.
  24. for no central air.
  25. to fail gen chem.
  26. to drop premed because I failed gen chem.
  27. for 3 years of housing.
  28. to not make the campus story.
  29. for Rubinoff.
  30. to take Alcohol Edu.
  31. to not have a Shea wristband.
  32. to not have a foam mattress pad.
  33. to not have a Keurig.
  34. to get a shitty class pick time.
  35. to not get tickets to the Notre Dame game.
  36. to get harassed by Arrupe for meal plan money.
  37. to run out of meal plan money because I donated to Arrupe.
  38. to stand outside of my dorm in my towel while the RA confiscates my alcohol.
  39. to not receive free condoms/ birth control.
  40. to leave my bookbag outside of On the Fly/Bookstore.
  41. to not be strong enough to open the back door of the Rat.
  42. to get transported to St. E’s.
  43. to pregame in a double on upper.
  44. to be ranked #30 by USNWR.
  45. to listen to my CSOM friends talk about their #4 Bloomberg ranking.
  46. to get DJ Earworm for Modstock.
  47. to get a grad student as an econ professor.
  48. to use BC UIS.
  49. to need 2 forms of ID to get into Green Briar.
  50. for BC not to divest in fossil fuels.
  51. for Hillside not to be on the meal plan.
  52. for weekly ResLife emails.
  53. for Canvas notifications.
  54. to pay an additional $20 when I lose my ID.
  55. to pay an additional $30 for printing.
  56. to pay an additional $200 for a Gold Pass.
  57. to never make it past half time at a football game.
  58. to have the froyo machine broken 90% of the time.
  59. to never win an intramural mug.
  60. to have a language requirement.
  61. for these

    The One Hundred Dollar Stairs located between McGuinn and Fulton
  62. to get glared at in Bapst when I sneeze.
  63. to get glared at when I wear sweatpants to class.
  64. to have to put my bagel in the toaster 6 times.
  65. to get the BC lookaway.

5 thoughts on “65 Things I Don’t Pay $65,000 a Year For

    1. Sam, this article satirizes the entitilement of some Boston College students. I am very grateful for everything that Boston College affords me- everything on this list included.


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