Equipped with my Revis jersey I, like many others across the campus and around the country, sat down early yesterday, shook off the lasting side effects of the day before, and turned on ESPN to watch Chris Berman shove wildly inaccurate predictions down my throat in his weekly 2-Minute Drill.
Following two hours of Merrill Hoge wearing ridiculously large tie knots, Adam Schefter checking his phone and no less than three dozen replays of OBJ’s one-handed catch from last year, it was finally time for kickoff.
- My beloved Jets routing the Browns 31-10: What a glorious game. Fitz throwing for 2 TDs and a pick that was immediately stripped and recovered by Brandon Marshall. Ivory adding two more on the ground and the defense forcing not one, not two, not three but FIVE takeaways. #LOLBrowns indeed. Josh McCown also died after being lit up by Demario Davis and Johnny Manziel made Twitter explode before remembering that it’s 2015 and he’s on the Browns, not A&M, and he’s playing the Jets, not Alabama. RIP #moneyteam. Sigh.
- The Bills led by Tyrod Taylor aka T-Mobile run train on the Colts in Rex Ryan’s debut. Karlos Williams and Boobie Dixon (awesome name. There’s only one Boobie for me though.) racked up 147 yards on the ground and Percy Harvin looked like his 2012 version on a 51-yard TD catch. Luck was picked off twice and the Colts as a whole managed only 254 total yards against a very tough Buffalo D. Ouch.
- Seattle and St. Louis crushing the dreams of anyone who had the Seahawks at -7: After a great strip sack and return touchdown from former (Philadelphia) Eagle Cary Williams, the Rams were down by a touchdown with two minutes left in the game. Or so it was before Nick Foles hit Lance Kendricks on a 37-yard TD with :53 remaining on the clock to tie it up, getting past Kam Chancellor’s replacement who fell down en route to the end zone. The Rams ended up winning in OT after a field goal and a fourth down stop of Marshawn. Personally, I would’ve called a slant.
- Mariota and the Titans taking Jameis’ lunch money and then stuffing him inside a locker, again. Titans 42 Bucs 14: Despite shedding their college uniforms this game had a feel strangely similar to that of last year’s FSU-Oregon playoff semifinal. The respective opening drives set the tempo for the rest of the game: Mariota with a TD to Kendall Wright and Famous Jameis being introduced to the league with a pick 6. The Hawaiian ended the day with 4 TDs, no interceptions and 209 total yards while his counterpart finished with pairs of both touchdowns and picks with 210 passing yards. The Titans win ended a 10-game losing streak from last season.
- The Cowboys and Tony Romo snatching a victory out of the jaws of defeat from the Giants. 27-26. What an ending. Romo marching down the field like he’s General Sherman en route to the sea with a minute and a half on the clock. Dumping it to Witten, slinging it to Dunbar, hitting up Terrance Williams on the sideline, all without Dez Bryant. 22 fantasy points later and Team Cromartie’s Kids has its first win. Even managed to hook up a fellow Latino Gavin Escobar with a TD pass. Eli was stunned as usual
- GoPuff hooking it up with a variety of snacks that I will inevitably regret later in life but thoroughly enjoyed in the moment + Wings Over Brookline coming in clutch with a halftime delivery of 60 wings and ranch dressing for days.
- Check out @TonyStark’s Pats vs Steelers recap here
49ers/Vikings and Eagles/Falcons tomorrow. Broncos/Chiefs Thursday. Football is back and it’s here to stay.